Swimstuck!
by Elephant Run
Summary: AU, because this story completely disregards the game, unless maybe this is set before the game. Feferi decides to create a swim team for the trolls, and Eridan has ALWAYS wanted to join a swim team. Rated T for Karkat and Gamzee's language...


A/N: I don't own Homestuck. Obviously, I'm not The Huss. Anyways, this story sucks, but ya'll should read it anyways. I got the idea from my Internet buddy Ryn. XD Hi, Ryn! Yeah, ok, storytime guys (:

Swimstuck!

Feferi had the most amazing idea. '-Ehhhh, T)(AT'S IT!' She thought to herself. 'I'll make a swim team for all us trolls... T)(ere's anyt)(ing else to do at t)(e moment, and -EVERYONE s)(ould learn )(ow to swim!'

She wondered how to make this happen. She didn't go up on land where the rest of the trolls were often, but she figured as long as she were careful to go at night when the sun was not shining, it'd be alright to go to land to hang up some flyers for her swim team. She was so pleased with her idea, that she began right away making the colorful flyers, with her special water proof paper.

As soon as night came and the sun was completely set, and Eridan was nowhere to be seen, Feferi swam from her underwater hive all the way up to the surface. Happily, she began to post them all over Alternia, before returning to the sea, and then to her hive.

Of course, the moment she got back, her screen was flooded with messages from Eridan. She rolled her eyes. "S)(ut up, -Eridan." She said to herself. He WAS her morail, but honestly, he really had been annoying her lately. She decided to answer the messages, though.

caligulasAquarium has begun trolling cuttlefishCuller, her screen read.

CA: Hey Fef  
CA: Fef, you there?  
CA: I saww you leavve earlier. Wwhere havve you been?  
CA: Wwere you going to interact wwith those landdwwellers?

Feferi sighed.

CC: T)(ey aren't t)(at bad, t)(e ot)(er trolls, really, -Eridan.  
CC: Cod, it's really not any of your business. Glub.  
CC: I only went to swim around for aw)(ile.  
CC: W)(y were you watc)(ing me, anyways?  
CA: I just saww you leavve.  
CA: Not stalking or anything.  
CA: And I wwas just wwondering.  
CC: -Eh, w)(atever.  
CC: I gotta go. Bye -Eridan!

Feferi wondered what to do next. She just really hadn't felt like talking to him anymore. She decided to talk to Sollux. She didn't talk to him too much, but he wasn't so bad, and she liked him.

cuttlefishCuller has begun trolling twinArmageddons.

CC: )(ey Sollux!  
TA: Oh...hey Feferi.  
CC: I'm going to create a Troll Swim Team! I'm so -EXCITED!  
CC: You s)(ould come tomorrow, t)(at's w)(en we begin.  
CC: I wish we )(ad one of t)(ose )(uman t)(ings called a pool.  
CC: But we can practice at t)(e sea just fine.  
TA: iive never even 2een the sea.  
TA: and ii can't 2wim.  
TA: why would ii want to be on 2ome 2wim team?  
TA: 2eriously.  
CC: Please! I really need some people to do t)(is.  
CC: You can learn to swim.  
TA: Fiine.

twinArmageddons ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller.

Feferi was pleased enough with this. She decided to wait until the next evening to see who would turn up for the swim team meeting. She climbed into her aquatic recuperacoon, and dozed off to sleep.

The next evening, several trolls were gathered by the sea. As Feferi surfaced at the particular part of the sea they were meeting at, she saw Gamzee, Tavros, Karkat, Sollux, Kanaya, Nepeta, and Terezi all waiting along the shore. Kanaya was admiring her nails that appeared to have been just painted black. She couldn't possibly go in the water and ruin them. Nepeta purred and ran around, appearing to have no desire to go into the water, but just to run around. Gamzee was all chill and ready to swim, and Terezi was laughing and amusing herself in the sand. Sollux and Karkat did not seem happy with the idea of swimming.

Karkat yelled as he noticed Feferi walking up the beach. "I JUST CAME TO CHECK OUT HOW AWFUL THIS WOULD BE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FUCKING DOING THIS. THIS IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING IDEA."

"S)(ut up, it is a great idea!" Feferi exclaimed. "Ok, everyone...let's get in t)(e water!"

"WhAtEvEr yOu SaY, tHiS sWiMmInG tHiNg Is SoMe MoThErFuCkIn mIrAcLeS." Gamzee replied. Feferi giggled.

"I'm glad you enjoy it!" She said. Sollux sat reluctantly close to the edge of the water. Karkat swam a bit out before yelling. "THIS FUCKING SUCKS. THIS WATER IS FUCKING COLD AND SALTY. WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU ENJOY THIS?"

Gamzee swam over to him, splashing him with a bit of seawater. "cHiLl, bRo. ReLaX. WaTeR iS mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS." Karkat sighed.

"GAMZEE..." He started to say, but the purple-blooded troll was already floating away, mumbling, "mIrAcLeS, bRo..."

Gamzee swam back up to shore, going to talk to talk to Tavros, who had been looking very lonely on the beach. A very blind Terezi swam within the area of where Karkat was, and grinned. "K4rkl3s...K4rkl3s. I c4n sm3ll your c4ndy r3d blood." She caught up to him and licked his face, laughing. "TEREZI, WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING..." Karkat asked, sighing. "You t4st3 good." She replied, but swam away, blinded again in the water where everything around her only smelled blue, swimming aimlessly. Karkat sighed.

Feferi sighed, frustrated. 'T)(is is supposed to be accomplis)(ing somet)(ing!' She thought. 'I'm supposed to coac)( t)(em to be t)(e best swimmers possible, and t)(e fastest, and love t)(e water as muc)( as I do.' She stomped over to wear Sollux sat. "Come on!" She said. "You've got to go swim around a bit. You'll love it."

"No." He said. "ii don't like the water, and ii can't 2wim."

"You can learn to swim." She said. He shook his head. She sighed and stomped away again. Suddenly, there was another troll walking up the beach. Except, as he got closer, everyone could tell who it was, and it was someone nobody really wanted to show up. He stomped down the beach, ready to join the swim team. It was one of his life-long dreams, one that nobody knew about. He had always, since he was only a bunch of genetic material inside the mother grub, wanted to be on a swim-team. He never thought there would be one for trolls.

"Hey Fef." He said. "I'm sure it wwas just an accident for you to not invvite me to join your team."

Karkat shouted from afar. "WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING GET OUT OF HERE YOU GENOCIDAL ASSHOLE."

"-Eridan..." Feferi began. "I t)(ink it'd be best if you'd go )(ome. You aren't really wanted, or needed, on t)(is team." She felt a bit bad about it, but it was for the best if he'd just go away. Yet still, she felt devastated that the team wasn't even really a team. This team was falling apart. They'd never be a real swim team! But having Eridan there would just cause so many more problems. It always did.

"Fine." The forever alone troll spat angrily, and turned to go home. He went home and cried, for he was forever alone and had now even been rejected from the only swim team he might ever join. But he stopped crying, knowing that one day, he'd kill all those landdwwellers. And he'd find a swim team, a much better swim team than a team organized by a 6 sweep old troll, filled with landdwwellers. Yes, he'd have what he wanted...some day.

Meanwhile, Feferi sighed. None of the trolls on her team seemed to care about swimming, or the sea. None of them were making any progress, and eventually she realized this, and left to let them goof off as long as they pleased, for her plans to create the troll swim team she wanted had failed.

No, trolls were not meant to be great swimmers, or to love the sea too much.


End file.
